There is no doubt that wedding ceremonies are steeped in tradition, but there are definitely some wedding traditions that you can skip to avoid unnecessary expenses, waste and worry. Most of all, it’s a chance to create new traditions that are much more meaningful to you both!
Traditions tend to establish a sense of comfort, or a sense of nostalgia, even if we’ve never personally experienced them. Whether through movies, fairy tales or wedding photos stored in your parent’s weathered albums, we often have a painting in our mind of what a wedding should look like. From the song typically played when walking down the aisle, to the bouquet toss and a list of other things in between.
While there’s nothing wrong with tradition, sometimes they become … antiquated. Let’s be honest – some of the outdated wedding traditions need to be thrown out, right alongside the bouquet. This is why today, I’m taking a little time to talk about a topic near and dear to my wedding-loving heart:
What You Don’t Need at Your Wedding
Now I know that everyone is different, so while I may not be the biggest fan of these traditions, if they’re something you’re into you, by all means! But, as we go through this list I have a feeling your eyes will open to the concept of breaking with the old and bringing in the new when it comes to creating your own, unique vision for your wedding.
There are plenty of reasons to take a deeper look at some wedding traditions that you can skip, from their origins to budget costs, to simplifying the things you have to worry about on the day of.
While I know you’re probably asking yourself, “What can I do instead of a traditional wedding, Kevin?” and while I would never tell you to completely disregard the idea of a traditional wedding, I do offer a few alternatives as to ways you can rework these concepts.
Wedding Favours
How many times have you gone to a wedding where they gave you favours to take home that you’ve never once touched again? Favours that are taking up a random space in the back of your closet in a box marked miscellaneous, or that eventually end up in a local landfill because you’ve officially run out of space.
The favours of old can be fairly expensive and fairly wasteful. Why not save on unnecessary wedding expenses and not have them at all? Or, if you’re dead set on favours, why not try sending home your guests with something that won’t go to waste?
While budget concerns are definitely one of my major filters for determining what can stay and what can go, another filter I also like to consider is “does it even matter”? What I mean by that is, does the tradition itself mean anything to you? Does it hold a personal connection in your heart?
If it doesn’t, it might be okay to just chuck the tradition completely. One less thing to think about on the big day frees your mind and heart up to enjoy the day that much more.
The Bouquet/Garter Toss
Okay. Let’s talk about the two infamous tosses because honestly, they’re some of the more outdated wedding traditions embedded in the wedding lexicon. The garter and bouquet toss was invented as an alternative method to the original wedding tradition it was based on, where wedding goers would try to ‘obtain’ a piece of the bride’s wedding dress for good luck. Meaning, brides would literally wait for their dresses to be yanked to pieces.
Sounds stressful, right? It was. Hence the invention of alternative pieces of memorabilia for guests to leave with. As we approach 2023, however, I don’t think we have to carry them on.
But if you do? Put some money in that bouquet, make it for all genders, and let’s make it REALLY fun! Just like Helen and Jason did!
Separation Between Parties
Another sort of odd tradition is having separate sides of the ceremony. I’ve always thought it would make more sense to try to intermingle everyone together. Let everyone have a more natural way to get to know each other more.
These are your nearest and dearest who are sitting there with you, and that means that in some part or another, all of these people are now part of each other’s lives! Let’s put them together.
Getting Ready Apart
I know how much it is considered bad luck for the parties to see each other before the wedding but … why? The origin of this interesting tradition harkens back to a time when arranged marriages were more widespread. It was considered bad luck to see each other before the ceremony because they were afraid that a lack of attraction would cause one of the parties to call the entire marriage off.
It’s an archaic tradition that has less than romantic reasoning. This is your wedding. This is your special day. Why not let the parties get ready together? Why not spend your final hours getting ready with the person and people you love the most, on both sides of the aisle?
Waiting Down The Aisle
As you may have noticed, there’s a theme to most of the traditions I’m listing. They tend to be the traditions that keep you separate from the person you love – and walking down the aisle is one of those things.
I’ve loved seeing some of the new ways people have been approaching the aisle walk in recent years. From going against the grain and not using the wedding march as the song they walk to, or from seeing wedding parties choreograph full dances down the aisle. There’s so much more joy in it, a far more powerful feeling of lightness that you deserve to feel when you’re marrying the love of your life.
In the end, I’m not telling you to defy convention and have a wedding from a hot-air balloon (though I would absolutely shoot a balloon wedding, FYI), but I am saying that there are traditions that could use some modernising.
Let’s talk a bit more about all the different ways we can find to make your wedding uniquely you. Feel free to reach out to me today and we can create new traditions together!
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